Posts tagged advice
No Expectations

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As you remember, a few months ago I did a workshop with Justin & Mary Marantz in New Haven - and one of the biggest things I walked away with wasn't beautiful photos, or the ability to keep my wits about me on a wedding day (I mean - I did learn those things too!), but it was something Mary said to me in the first 20 minutes of shooting. Forget expectations.

Funny she should say that as that was our theme for the year in 2011 - we were preparing to move to wherever God was calling Andrew in his ministry, and while we had both lived our entire lives in the Midwest we had to be realistic that God could call us to wherever He wanted. Thus - no expectations became our mantra. Having no expectations helped us go from frantic 'what-if-god-calls-us-to-the-middle-of-who-knows-where' to being able to truly center ourselves on the fact that when we have expectations, where are not having open eyes and ears to where we are being led in life.

So for Mary to say those two words to me as I am boiling over in frantic 'what-if-people-say-i-have-the-wrong-camera-wrong-lenses-wrong-website-or-don't-do-what-everyone-else-is-doing" jabber, all I could think was "are you kidding me?".

Maybe God sends us reoccuring messages in different ways so we can be reminded that He created us individually. That He created us with gifts and abilities different from each other. So that we listen and watch closely for those moments where He is especially talking to us. So that we aren't looking at what others have, what paths others are walking and think that there is a one size fits all standard to life.

Maybe you need to hear this today too - to leave your expectations of what things should be and accept them as they are. That things as they are might be better than what you expected.

To the past four years (and a giveaway!)

October 11th, 2008.At the end of the long, blue stone aisle lined with perfectly bunched candles and 125 of our friends and family was the man I have had the honor of calling my husband for the past four years. He is tall, kind, loving, protective and I would not want any other person sharing the blankets with me every night from here until the end.I have been thinking a lot about what we were doing in preparation for the big day - picking up the flowers, table clothes, deep dish pizza (for the rehearsal dinner...come on - we're Chicagoians!), and even squeezing in a "Last Single Girl" sushi dinner with 15 of my closest friends two nights before the wedding. But nothing can prepare you for what's on the other side of "I Do" - grad school, late nights of washing dishes, the well timed (ha!) argument before bed, days of loving your job, days of hating your job, car trouble, a (half) cross country move, making new friends together - and most importantly finding that your best friend is indeed the one next to you every night.I was just texting with a girlfriend from highschool who's about to get married in a few weeks (congrats Brittany and Joel!) - and it made think back to the beginning of all this. Through all the messy, ugly, beautiful, and raw moments of the past four years, I am cherishing the past 365 the most. In moving from the midwest, and feeling I was losing so much love from friends and family, I found that I gained all that back and more in my marriage.So here's to our wedding day - for each bite of that delicious cake, each silly dance with my sisters and mom, for my last dance with my dad and my first with my husband. To loosing the confirmation papers for our hotel on the way to the honeymoon. To eating a room service midnight snack of chicken fingers and burgers at the end of the long day.To year one - the experiments in the kitchen, making new friends, starting new journeys in grad school, and to learning how each other grieves, celebrates, rests.To year two - to feeling like "we've got this down"...and finding out we had it all wrong, to finding our Chicago sweet spots, for friends babies that became nieces and nephews, to our last summer in the midwest.To year three - the hardest of them all. To moving, to exploring, to lots of tears, to learning even more about each other.To year four - to discovering, to settling in, to excelling in jobs, to friends who move away, to renewed joy in our home.In honor of our anniversary - I'm giving away two couple portrait sessions - one in Connecticut and one in the New York City/Rhode Island/Massachusetts/southern New Hampshire area! We have been so blessed by having amazing photographers document our engagement, wedding and life-after-wedding - I want to give back!How to enter:1. Like "Alicia Sturdy" on Facebook (*if you share the link to my blog you'll get an extra entry!*)2. Go to the "Say Hello" page on my website (www.aliciasturdy.com) and send me a note - Tell me about a special place you have with your significant other. A favorite restaurant? The shoreline? Central Park? Under the boardwalk (yea yea!)?3. Please be sure to include your location (there's a box for that!)All entries must be submitted by October 21st, 2012 at noon (eastern time). One entry will be selected from Connecticut, one entry will be selected from the other area's listed above.Winners announced on October 22nd!Session must be redeemed by January 31, 2013.*First photo- our wedding by Mallory Nelson - October 2008.*Second photo- our Goodbye Photoshoot with Erica Rose - June 2011.