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As you remember, a few months ago I did a workshop with Justin & Mary Marantz in New Haven - and one of the biggest things I walked away with wasn't beautiful photos, or the ability to keep my wits about me on a wedding day (I mean - I did learn those things too!), but it was something Mary said to me in the first 20 minutes of shooting. Forget expectations.

Funny she should say that as that was our theme for the year in 2011 - we were preparing to move to wherever God was calling Andrew in his ministry, and while we had both lived our entire lives in the Midwest we had to be realistic that God could call us to wherever He wanted. Thus - no expectations became our mantra. Having no expectations helped us go from frantic 'what-if-god-calls-us-to-the-middle-of-who-knows-where' to being able to truly center ourselves on the fact that when we have expectations, where are not having open eyes and ears to where we are being led in life.

So for Mary to say those two words to me as I am boiling over in frantic 'what-if-people-say-i-have-the-wrong-camera-wrong-lenses-wrong-website-or-don't-do-what-everyone-else-is-doing" jabber, all I could think was "are you kidding me?".

Maybe God sends us reoccuring messages in different ways so we can be reminded that He created us individually. That He created us with gifts and abilities different from each other. So that we listen and watch closely for those moments where He is especially talking to us. So that we aren't looking at what others have, what paths others are walking and think that there is a one size fits all standard to life.

Maybe you need to hear this today too - to leave your expectations of what things should be and accept them as they are. That things as they are might be better than what you expected.

What does it mean to really be fearless?Taylor Swift sings about it, Alton Brown declared Marti Duncan (season 8 FNS...yes, we're obsessed) - FEARLESS. But what happens after the jump? After we ARE fearless...does the fear go away?I have this need deep down to be fearless.About what, you might ask?Fearless about being myself.If you're a regular reader (all 10 of you), you can see a vein running through my previous blog posts, Who am I? What do I want to be? Who am I made me to become right now?I have been doing freelance graphic design here and there for the past 5 years - that's what my goal in college was to do. Don't ask me why I chose Graphic Design as a major (sorry mom!)...after a lot of thinking I have rested in the fact that God totally took control of my life and decisions and some how I decided I was going to study Art, not music (which had been my goal my whole life). So fast forward 9 years after that decision and I'm here, working in full time ministry doing a little design here and there at work and some freelance work.And I'm just done trying to do art "for the money".I want to do it for the love of art.I want to be fearless about who I am.About my art.Fearless about what others might think.Fearless about failure.Fearless about success.So after many quiet hours of thinking, discerning, talking it out with the Mr. and a few trusted sources I have decided to embark on something new.www.aliciasturdy.comThese are the gifts I was made to bring to the table right now in my creative expression. Please hear me, I'm not quitting my job or dropping everything to grab onto this dream. My life with remain normal (I am liking my life! There is nothing wrong with it!) except for the fact that I will be doing life with a camera in my hand. A rainy Saturday morning in your kitchen with your family will tell a story - so will a wedding, a baptism, a love story, a new baby - it will tell your story.If you feel you're jiving with me - spread the word. My friend has decided to live fearlessly. She wants to capture your life - all the nooks and crannies of it. She wants to start a fearless movement - be who you are in front of my camera, fearlessly.

I frequently find myself thinking this exact phrase over and over. "I want to be so many things".

In my lifetime, I have probably dreamed that I could be at least 100 professions. Oh ya, here are just a few. Starting from the beginning but in no real order.

Teacher. Ballerina. Book Store Owner. Librarian. Writer. Basketball Player. 4th grade teacher. Music Teacher. Art Teacher. Band Director. Choral Director. Singer. Graphic Designer. Corporate Graphic Designer. Freelance Graphic Designer. Graphic Designer at a Missions Agency. Youth Pastor. Worship Director. Professional Counselor. Photographer. Artist. Art Historian. Art Gallery Curator. Hair Stylist. Professional Blogger. Etsy Shop Owner (yes full time, yes I have thought this). Mom. Missionary. Customer Service. (Ya, not sure where that one came from.) Outreach Coordinator. Church Communications Director. Paperstore Owner. Stationary designer. Professional Pinterester. *Don't we all? Chef. A real one. Bakery Owner. Ice Cream shop owner. (with my sister, Kaylee) Really good home cook. Food Blogger.

Ya some are very specific (Etsy Shop Owner? Seriously?) and some are pretty broad (Graphic Designer...technically I could be an "Etsy Shop Owner" and an "Artist" and a "Paperstore Owner" and still be just called a Graphic Designer). Sometimes my head just begins to race with thoughts, I want to be so many things! I want to do so many things! And of course, I want to be good at them. I just don't want to "do" these things, I want to do them well. And I want everyone to know, that I "do" "this" well.

Shauna Neiquest posted this the other day and I felt one stanza sting deep.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Ouch. She's so right. Right now, my job is Office Manager to East Coast Conference (of the Evangelical Covenant Church, too long to say, but it has to be said for some people who don't know what "East Coast Conference" is). Ya, not a very glamourous job description. Not as good sounding as "Director of X" or "CEO of Y"...but the line "however humble" brings me back down to it doesn't matter what I call what I do.

I'm in the business of God's Business - Knowing & Loving People. No, I'm not a pastor giving much needed wisdom or some profound blogger (well, this is a blog; and this thought might be profound?) but I feel called to people. However Humble a profession I find myself in. I'm in the business of People. And how God does his business with people? Love.