I know I have been personal but not "up close" on this new blog. I have referenced people, situations and places loosely, but never named things specifically out loud.So maybe I need to write a little about myself, why I am blogging, and my hope for all this in the end.But let's take this slow.Today, I'll tell you about me.I am Alicia.Married to Andrew.Daughter of Michael & Kathy, Daughter in Love of Rob & Kim.Sister to Melissa+Kaylee & Kaitlyn+Christopher.Physically born in 1985 and raised in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (not to be confused with the Mitten portion of Michigan).Spiritually born again in December 2001.My citygirl soul was born in 2003 & raised in the great city of Chicago, Illinois.I am a city girl at heart.An external processor, ESFP and 7 on the enneagram.Have a Bachelors Degree in Art from North Park University.Art was not what I thought I would do.I play music, and thought I'd be a music teacher.But, deep down - I am just an artist of many mediums.I have been impacted and changed by the people in my life.My family. My friends from my hometown. My girlfriends from college, my family of friends I left behind in Chicago.I fell in love with Andrew after a long obedience.We met in a worship band at college, and led a missions trip together to the Dominican Republic.He didn't "like me back" at first.We started dating when he kissed me on the floor of my furniture-less apartment on the corner of Kedzie & Carmen (he decided he "liked me back" then).We fell in love in the city.Taking rides on the EL late at night.Stopping for Starbucks in Lincoln Square.Our not so real first date was at Tre Kroner one Wednesday morning for breakfast - it felt like half the school was there, staring at us.Our real first date we went to see the movie "Rent" - we were the only non same-sex couple in the theater.Three years later, he asked me to marry him on a rooftop in downtown Chicago.I worked at a church for 5 years in Chicago - one year doing Communications and four years in Urban & Global Outreach.He went straight from undergraduate studies to Seminary.We married in 2008 in the north shore of Chicago.We moved from Chicago in June 2011 for him to take a job in Connecticut.He's a youth pastor. I work for the regional office of our churches denomination.I am thankful God has placed me here.Boston to the East. The mountains to the North.The ocean to the South. New York City to the West.I am loud.Talkative.Have a strange draw to Marathon running.Live in a 175 year old house on a busy corner. It's bright yellow.Spontaneous.Gregarious.Love to entertain.Independent.Love to capture the moment.Always wanting to change the furniture around.

My husband is a movie lover. All things movies, he loves. He is even one of those people who goes to the movies by himself (I shouldn't make fun of him, I am one of those people who eats alone at a restaurant). One of the movies he loves (don't judge) is Just Friends with Ryan Reynolds. It. Is. Ridiculous. But - so quotable.One of my favorite, most quoted clips from the film is when Anna Faris sings a song called "Forgiveness". It's hilarious and just plain silly, but something about it today has one line stuck in my head.Forgiveness is more than saying sorry.I just came out a season that was hard on my soul. I felt I was wandering, reaching out to grasp whatever thought, idea, identity seemed to be "right", and ended up not lost, but wandering. As I move farther away from that time, and thankfully have had friends to ask me the right questions (at times hard questions) - I have done a myriad of things in the name of "forgiveness". I have confronted and emailed those who I have felt hurt by, those whom I've hurt, I have journaled letters never sent, I have asked God to please help me "get over" feeling the anger and frustration I had. But yet, at the end I still felt "wronged".How did I get here? And where is here? I hadn't really moved. I have gone through the steps, the motions of forgiveness. I was trying to fake it til I made it for crying out loud! Why was I still so angry?And then one Monday morning, I was talking on the phone to a dear friend who has walked along side me through this, and she said a simple statement - "I think you just need to forgive."Although she has said this to me 100s of times, I know the Lord put my heart in a place where I could truly hear it clearly. A place where I could understand forgiveness is more than an email, more than "still being right", more than feeling justified. Even now, my phone just lit up with a text message from a girl in our youth group at church. It was one of those chain text-message pictures people send around, but I couldn't see the picture clearly, only the word "Forgiveness" light up on the screen. The first thought flashed through my head, "WHO can see my computer?! That I'm about to write this!?" Nobody of course - but I'm going to take that as one more little sign from God that this truly is the right road to keep traveling. That I have truly forgiven not only in my head, but in my heart. And I need to continue doing that not just today, but every day.No matter the history, no matter the hurt. Without looking back, forgiveness means letting go. Giving it over. And moving forward.

The other day I was walking home from the gym and was thinking about the timing of everything. Our next Call, when people die, when babies are born, when our babies will be born. What if the time isn't right? I found myself making a deal with God;"Ok God, how about when I loose 30 pounds and we have money to move into a house, then we can have a baby?" or "Ok God, I'd be okay having a baby next summer. After the marathon." or "Ok God, we can move to X city once we're done with Y."I felt God say "Yep, okay. You know I already know when 'that' time is. I made it that way."I felt silly.Of course God knows. He knows. Just because he does. And He lets me think me in my tiny little world down here, I have control over it. But gently reminds me that I don't.Timing has always been a fear factor in my life - what if it's not the right time to buy this? To go on this trip? To make this huge decision? The saving Grace to my anxious flippity flop of a mind is that GOD orchestrates the timing. He has the big picture.The most moving image I always find rest in is that of a tapestry weaver and overseer in a sermon I heard a while back. As the overseer is calling out the orders to progress on the weaving of this intricate tapestry, one of the weavers makes a mistake. He stops to apologize but the overseer says to keep going. As the tapestry is nearing completion, the weaver is getting more and more upset about his mistake. Now this piece, which was suppose to be beautiful, intricate, orderly, and cohesively designed - will be ruined with the flaw of the glaring mistake he has made. As the tapestry is finished, the weaver takes a step back to the overseer's perspective - and he cannot believe his eyes. The overseer, who had full perspective the whole time, has taken the mistake in the weaving and made it the centerpiece of the tapestries design - its result is more beautiful than the original. What was thought to be an error in the work flow has now made this tapestry turn out to be grander than it's original design.We cannot see the timing - the beauty that God is weaving in the tapestry of our life We are working so close, so focused in the threads that we forget that we do not see God taking our mistakes, taking our choices, and making them into something we could have never dreamed it could be.

I frequently find myself thinking this exact phrase over and over. "I want to be so many things".

In my lifetime, I have probably dreamed that I could be at least 100 professions. Oh ya, here are just a few. Starting from the beginning but in no real order.

Teacher. Ballerina. Book Store Owner. Librarian. Writer. Basketball Player. 4th grade teacher. Music Teacher. Art Teacher. Band Director. Choral Director. Singer. Graphic Designer. Corporate Graphic Designer. Freelance Graphic Designer. Graphic Designer at a Missions Agency. Youth Pastor. Worship Director. Professional Counselor. Photographer. Artist. Art Historian. Art Gallery Curator. Hair Stylist. Professional Blogger. Etsy Shop Owner (yes full time, yes I have thought this). Mom. Missionary. Customer Service. (Ya, not sure where that one came from.) Outreach Coordinator. Church Communications Director. Paperstore Owner. Stationary designer. Professional Pinterester. *Don't we all? Chef. A real one. Bakery Owner. Ice Cream shop owner. (with my sister, Kaylee) Really good home cook. Food Blogger.

Ya some are very specific (Etsy Shop Owner? Seriously?) and some are pretty broad (Graphic Designer...technically I could be an "Etsy Shop Owner" and an "Artist" and a "Paperstore Owner" and still be just called a Graphic Designer). Sometimes my head just begins to race with thoughts, I want to be so many things! I want to do so many things! And of course, I want to be good at them. I just don't want to "do" these things, I want to do them well. And I want everyone to know, that I "do" "this" well.

Shauna Neiquest posted this the other day and I felt one stanza sting deep.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Ouch. She's so right. Right now, my job is Office Manager to East Coast Conference (of the Evangelical Covenant Church, too long to say, but it has to be said for some people who don't know what "East Coast Conference" is). Ya, not a very glamourous job description. Not as good sounding as "Director of X" or "CEO of Y"...but the line "however humble" brings me back down to it doesn't matter what I call what I do.

I'm in the business of God's Business - Knowing & Loving People. No, I'm not a pastor giving much needed wisdom or some profound blogger (well, this is a blog; and this thought might be profound?) but I feel called to people. However Humble a profession I find myself in. I'm in the business of People. And how God does his business with people? Love.

Lately we have been joking around that anytime after the 4th of July signals an almost immediate countdown to fall. It feels that as I've gotten older, this window of time between 4th of July and Fall has grown shorter and shorter. In high school it's the ever impending date of "back of school" (September), in college it's when I'd move back to Chicago for the year (August), then at camp it seemed that that the 4th is the "beginning" of the camping season, but then everything after that is a blur and then suddenly I'm finding myself washing clothes, transferring summer goods to storage and taking out books, dishes, sweaters...college stuff. School stuff. Meaning, that August/September deadline is just around the corner. Even now, though there is nothing to blur the lines between back to school and Fall except the weather - any cool day after the 4th seems to be Fall whispering "I'm coming soon. Don't forget".Today in conversation with someone, the word "Fall" hadn't hung in the air less than 2 seconds and I immediately felt myself longing for it. For orange and red. For crunchy leaves. For pumpkins. For sweaters and leather boots and scarves. For change. For the "next".Fall can be time when it seems everything starts to die...but really it's when growing underneath starts. Begins.

Today is here. Today is fresh.

Today, brings promise. Today, bright and new.

Today; I see over the hills, valleys, darks, and dips of life the tapestry of Your weaving in me.

You; who formed me, know me, lead me, let me stumble and fall.

Let my heart know You, seek You, wrap around who You are.

Today is here. Now. And I'm standing in it. Aware.

Galatians 5

vs 5-6But we who live by the Spirit eagerly wait to receive everything promised to us who are right with God through faith. For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, it makes no difference to God whether we are circumcised or not circumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.

vs 13-14 For you have been called to live in freedom--not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

vs 22 -26 But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law.

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. If we are living now by the Holy Spirit, let us follow the Holy Spirit's leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or irritate one another, or be jealous of one another.

Driving home after dinner the other night with a friend, the talk turned from babies, jobs, design, and clothes to blogs. Why are blogs so hard to write? Should posts be personal? Do they need a focus? What should it be? What should mine be? What is interesting? Will people read it? Do I care?All these questions came up unanswered as we turned in the driveway - but I could tell ideas were reeling through each of our heads.I get the feeling food blogs might be a bit of old news - something that peaked with the last theater showing of Julie & Julia before Redbox, and took on a whole new identity with the birth of Pinterest "food" boards. There are much easier, quicker, cut-around-the-personal-blah ways of accessing recipes online. But is that why we read food blogs? Is that why we write food blogs?My idea really took flight on my lunch break today. I have been coming home for lunch (I work a mere 5 highway miles away from my office) in an effort to save money, and save my waistline by cooking my own healthy meals at lunch. Today, I decided to make a quick "breakfast burrito". Andrew is usually the scrambled egg maker in residence, but with him out of town  - I was left to my own devices. As I stood stirring my stringy, dry scrambled eggs at the stove (frustrated to no end) I felt defeated. My list of "easy things I can't make" only has really contained Chocolate Chip Cookies until today (true fact). Adding scrambled eggs to that list made question -  I am so willing to dive right into roasting my first whole chicken last week, creating my own spice blends and combinations of my favorite dishes...why do I not take this on with the same gusto I do when making those?SO - back to basics. No, I'm not going all Ina Garten on you (yet)...but back to the beginning of how to really cook. I sat down to eat my scrambled egg mush and pulled two cookbooks off the shelf - first, How to Boil Water and second, How to Cook. Recipe by recipe I'm going to make each one - no matter how simple, no matter how complicated. No matter how many dishes (sorry Andrew), no matter the left overs. And maybe I'll even throw my own little twist into each dish!So if you'd like to join me, cook along with me - let me know! Let's learn how to cook!

My spell check just gave me a little reality check with my post name...New Revelation. As many of you know, I can't spell and heavily rely on spell check (have you received an email or text from me..ever?)Spell check asked me...did you mean Reevaluation - Revelation - Revaluation? As I sat and thought about what these three words have in common besides letters, I was struck with the fact that maybe these three words my spell checker has asked me about have been the chain of events leading to my new revelation. I'm talking about my life. My time. My body. Me. Reevaluating...my actions. What I eat. If I exercise. Who I spend time with.Revelation...most times my actions do not line up with what I want in my life. What I feel I'm called to, in honoring myself & God. Revaluation...valuing my words, decisions & deeds more. A revaluation is typically an increase in value...not a decrease. Wow, all that from spell check. Anyways..so the last few months I have been processing these three things...and came to a decision that I value myself more. I want to value myself more. In this new season of life we're in...I value the time with my husband more. Therefore, I'm careful about our schedule during the week so we get to spend time together on our evenings off. In this new season of life we're in...I am evaluating how I process stress and its relation to food. In this new season of life we're in...I want to treat my body with care. It's the only body I get. After some mindless blogsurfing one day I stumbled upon the Whole30 plan.

Happy Valentines Day to all my favorite, faithful foodie readers out there! Muah!

I'm pretty sure one of the ways the Lord is showing me that our move to New England was the right one...is that it's pretty much been in the 40-50's all "winter". :)

Spring Grapefruit & Apple Salad with White Wine Vinegarette
When I make a salad, I like the ingredients to be all different textures and varying sizes (within reason...I still want to be able to create "the perfect bite"). I also want it to be pretty too, who doesn't? This salad fits the bill...juicy pink grapefruit pieces, tart, crisp green apple slices, toasted sliced almonds, dark curly kale & tender spinach have all the makes to be in the running for "the perfect bite".

Salad
1 Pink Grapefruit, sliced with membraines removed
1 Small Green Apple, sliced thinly
1/2 cup kale, cut in a rough chop/chiffonade
1 1/2 cups baby spinach
1 1/2 tbsp toasted & sliced almonds

Dressing
1 tsp flaxseed oil (olive will do)
1/2 tbs white wine vinegar
1/2 tbs apple cidar vinegar
1 tsp dijon mustard
1 tsp lemon juice
salt and pepper to taste

1. Place spinach in your bowl of choice. Add kale (sliced like this -  but in a bigger chop).
2. Trim rind off grapefruit & slice into pieces discarding the membraine (like below). Add to salad. Whatever you don't use, put away remaining amounts in fridge for a snack for later.
3. Slice apple thinly. Add to salad; and again, put whatever you don't use in the fridge but squeeze a little lemon on top first to prevent browning.
4. Combine all ingredients for dressing. Whisk until emulsified.

5. Dress salad & top with almonds.

New York....New. York.Ahhhh how a weekend in this city can re-energize my soul and tire my legs.Our anniversary is in October, so Andrew decided the perfect way to celebrate was with an east coast "stay-cation" to NY on one of the last beautiful "indian summer" weekends this past fall. We like to stay at this little brownstone on the Upper West Side where the streets are quiet, friendly, and Central Park is a mere 1/2 block to the east. So we packed our bags and rolled towards the city on Friday morning.The city was wonderful: "quiet" and 65 degrees cool as we took our morning walking down 3rd Avenue from Grand Central to SoHo (yes we walked from E 42nd street to below Houston...44 blocks). We explored for a bit, shopped, and headed north to the UWS. 20 minutes and a cat nap later we were walking down Columbus to our favorite West side lunchery: Nanoosh. They are a little Middle Eastern place between 68/69th on Broadway just north of Lincoln Center. We love their hummus, tabbouleh, and especially their mint iced tea. It's perfection. Plus, outdoor seating to people watch on a beautiful fall day.For dessert, another west side find...Levain Bakery.Um...ya. Only the best, warm, crumbly, delectable chocolate chip walnut cookie in New York City...truly the best cookie you'll ever eat. Not to be beat out by the laundry list of other delicious treats we had during our city-stay. I mean: we had crepes. we had beer. we had panini's. we had the best sweet potato fries i've ever had. The cookie was just a snack on our way back downtown. But oh so good.

apple pomegranate tabbouleh

One thing I have really missed about our neighborhood in Chicago, was you could get good middle eastern food at multiple places within a 3 block radius of our house. I have been making middle eastern food at home for a few years now...things like hummus, tabbouleh, taziki sauce, jerusalem salad; but I think this recipe always is my favorite. You can make it year round since most of these ingredients simple to find. My favorite part is the chopped fresh parsley, crisp apples, and tart pomegranates that pop in your mouth.

• 1 cup bulgur
• 3 tomatoes, seeded and chopped
• 2 cucumbers, peeled and chopped
• 1 apple, chopped - any kind (preferably something crunchy but not tart)
• 1 cup of pomegranate seeds (you can buy these at the grocery store if you don't want to seed your own pom)
• 2 green onions, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 cup chopped fresh parsley
• 1/3 cup fresh mint leaves
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 1/2 cup lemon juice
• 2/3 cup olive oil
• 1/2 tbs paprika

Place bulgar in a pan (I use a longer pyrex glass dish) and cover with 2 cups boiling water. Soak for 30 minutes...the bulgar should soak up all the water. Fluff with a fork.Chop all the above ingredients and combine in a bowl.Toss everything in a bowl with bulgar. Sprinkle paprika and refrigerate for 2-3 hours to let flavors develop. Toss again before serving.