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Somehow I think clearer with the honking horns and energy of the city. My extroverted being seems to rest when the world around me is in a busy flurry of activity - and I can rest in a deep down kind of way where all that busy flurry is off my shoulders and transferred onto the streets. So here I am on a Sunday afternoon....dreaming, scheming, giving my heart and soul room to dream so many deep dreams and plans for my life.
I put down my pen after a half hour of scribbling, and look out over the skyline. I want to capture this moment for myself. To look back on and draw the peace, quiet, rest and creative space from these moments that seem significant to my creative soul, and visit the photograph again and again down the road.
As I pick up my camera and start adjusting my camera settings to capture this beauty only significant to my heart, I hear a question on repeat from a conversation I just had with someone who is wise beyond her years, full of graceful questioning and perspective...why are you doing this? Why do you take pictures? A photo, I guess in simple terms, is just a tiny fragment of these hours today. Time wise, a photo is probably even less than a moment...1/125th of a second really to capture all this emotion, quiet, restful and holy feel of this space. Is that really all it takes? 1/125ths of a second?
And then it seems that the doors of my heart, soul and head burst open...I realize this is why I do this...my WHY.
Because in some way, YES, that is all it takes...1/125th of a second. But there are only so many halfs of a second in life that make me feel this way. And why should I let them pass by. After that second, it's gone. So to grab that 1/125th of a second, that's all I can do to capture a part of my story to share with anyone willing to listen.
And to do that for others. To give them this gift of that second. And give them the ability to access that very second for the rest of their life...to frame that second that will sit on the mantel of their home, their children's home, their grandchildren's home. To give them the gift of being able to look back on that significant second and access every ounce of tingly love, emotion, and space just as it was that day through a photograph. That's what I want to leave behind. For you. For me. For our children and grandchildren and great grandchildren. For someone to come across 50 years from now and say "Wow. I feel who this person is. I can feel their happiness. Their soul. I can see it, right here."
Because just like today when the streets are filled with people running their Sunday errands, the horns are honking, and everything starts to get fuzzy for me in my mind, one look back on my photograph can transport me back to a place of solid ground. And I can remember what poured onto my pages about what is important in life. That the ideas, dreams and wishes schemed in that moment are what I want to build my life on. And that is this: to be a photographer who gives you the gift of capturing now. The heart and soul of these one hundreths of a second that tap into and draw back this moment for you to feel, and for you to pass on to those who are special to you forever.